Fear of rejection and social anxiety
We all had a lot of social anxiety and fear of rejection when we started with the jounrney of seduction. When we just get started with approaching gilrs in the street. The idea was quiet hazy. Stopping a girl from doing whatevver she was planing and totally introducing yourself to her life. Which means creating a new event or episode in that person’s life. But, that was a situation we pictured in films when we were chil.
At the same time, throughout the childhood we cultivated a fear of rejection. That fear is basicly a misxure of many and different social conditioning aspects.
For me personaly, i grew up in a place where nobody approach girls with the right mindset. Still, some other dudes who does it but in a very pathetic, half assed way.
Started watching a lot of content on internet, reading books and field testing it. I’ve tried a variety of methods to get out of this fear and social anxiety.
Also, approaching girls in a 3rd world muslim country is a bit complicated. So, a girl who stops for a random dude in the street for a chat, includes a lot of judgements. Because the city is small and people knows each other. Still, if you do live in the capital there is less pressure.
So, after all that experience that i’ve gained from approaching in africa or europe, i thought about sharing some insane insights that will help you manage the fear of rejection.
Nobody is watching you
When you start going through these experiences of approaching random girls you like, in the street. You might think that people are watching you and observing every step you make. You make assumptions based on these random thoughts in your head as if they will judge you or come talk to you.
Furthermore, the truth is opposite to what you think. Generally, they will not even notice it. People are stuck in their own problems. They don’t give a fuck. You assume they will think about you, but they won’t.
Maybe they will see you approaching for a second but they will move on and totally forget about it. Then, they will just go back to their mindthinking process.
When i started going out to approach girls in Tunisia. The fact that people can’t assume that pick up actually works, they think that you already know the girl.
There is no perfection
In seduction, perfection doesn’t exist even in movies. There is no perfect words and no perfect time. Everytime could be a perfect time. But, it’s all a mental creation.
Who said that she is going to reject you? Did you tried to say ‘Hi’?
It’s all a reality we created so far. It doesn’t mean what you vision is true as long as you see some other guys who will approach in situations you never thought it would be possible.
So, perfection is an excuse that we come up with to calm our souls. We make tons of excuses, while it might be easier than what we imagined.
It’s better to try and fail than not to try at all.
Laugh at yourself
Sometimes you see this very hot girl. You start the overthinking then you become serious and facially constipated. You make up the whole interaction in your mind, the way you will approach and what are you going to say next. then you bring other multiple senarios to your brain, until she is gone.
I remember myself doing that. Just lost too many calories for nothing.
Let’s make a deal:
Next time you see this girl you like and feel you are going through this loop again. Just laugh at yourself. You will experience some ease in your state and you will notice the complications that you over made in your mind. It’s that specific moment that gives you the ansewer whether you go and approach or you keep stuck in the overthinking bubble.
All what we learned in our childhood from familly, people aroundus and school was a pure bullshit in the subject of the man to woman dynamics. We got a load of thoughts from people who have a little or no experience in approaching girls.
So, most of the dumb ideas about woman rejection are generally false. Friends, whether man or woman, most of the time, tend to say approaching a girl in this street is inapropriet and the rejection rate is high.
When i asked people around me about approaching a specific girl, the respond was always : ” I’m sure she will tells you fuck off and she will walk away.”, but the moment i tried to approach, nothing of this bullshit is real.
But, the reality is not easy to accept for the general mass. You can’t judge a person if he is going to reject you without even intiating a conversation. If you think that you can tell by the outside look, you are absolutely wrong.
Most of the girls that i though they would reject me, actually they doesn’t.
What is more hilarious is that you notice this girl, she looks a bit angry, defencive and evil, but you like something about her. It could be her lonely mode expression. So, you go on and approach her, then by doing that, you create some reactivenenss in her mind and you observe a quick shift in her state. She opens up to you, become vivid and then you notice how cool actually she is.
You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Do what you fear gentelman!
Nothing very special that is going to happen. Nobody died from approaching girls they liked. The worst think that can happen is when a girl tells you “go away”, that’s it.
Remember to laugh at yourself every moment you make it too serious and go for it the moment you see the girl.
You don’t need perfection, say whatever you feel want to say.
As long as you practice that, you will be able to reduce that fear of rejection and approach any girl you desire.
If you had an experience with the fear of rejection and how you did ovecome it, you can share your story in the comment section below.
Read more : How to text a girl – 2018 Ultimate guide
Until next time,
The collective journey.